thats now, but as for the future i wont be a putney graduate. which has me kinda bummming out, yet somehow im kinda relieved because at other places i looked at there wasnt all this stuff. (by stuff i mean all these people with extreme mental issues) maybe ill fit in better and finally find what i really want.
Warm arms. Safety. Someone i can depend on. Someone...anyone who cares about me. thats what ive always wanted. there its out in the open im a softy for the romantic crap. i try so hard to push people away and force myself to not depend on anyone but me. but thats what i want most someone who i trust to care about me enough so i feel safe enough to finally relax and feel warm and cared about.
screw it all.
im applying for college next year. I wont get in, but its worth a try. if not ill probably end up at burr and burton. (semi private school in my town (not where i want to be at all))
why cant i just be satisfied with what i have. I go to a good school. I have a few nice friends. i dunno
I just don't know and im not sure i want to