random (ninepinksocks) wrote,

Saying Goodbye

I don't understand relationships. In fact I don't understand people. People are so complicated, there are so many factors and so many exceptions to the rules of being a person that there might as well not be any rules at all. So here I am, everythings good at home. My dad told me he loved me and that i can live there over the summer. I should be over the moon. But im not. im not content with the way things are. I should be but im not.
I guess im waiting for that dare to be great moment. maybe i missed it.
I sent in my application to Simons Rock and that is a burden sent by snail mail. I wish my letter would arrive tommorow. All i can say right now is goodbye putney i won't miss you all that much. Maybe im lying.
recently ive been doing things that ive never done before or things that people wouldnt expect me to do and it feels i dunno natural in a way. Im tired of being the "little ebbott" and im tired of people thinking im so damn innocent.
but theres nothing to do about it which is frustrating
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